Sexy Bitches Strip for Ryanair calendar

Now we all saw the recent news headlines with the Cathay Pacific flight attendant sucking the pilots dick in the cockpit. Unfortunately for that Captain who's knob was rather clean, the jealous Swire management had to sack the poor guy for this disgraceful act. I mean it's okay for Cathay to cargo price fix with other airlines and be finned millions of euros, but one little blow job in the cruise? That's a big no no!

Moving on to my next story, Ryanair are doing some soft porn for charity! With their annual Girls of Ryan Air Calender. NICE WORK! With any luck you'll soon be able to buy your own inflight blow job on Ryanair flights. You have to pay for everything else just add "hummers" to the list I say.

Tim Shadey
Grand Master Gimp

GimpNews.Net

Sex sells. That’s what Ryanair have realised over the years as they launch their fourth annual ‘The Girls of Ryanair’ calendar.

The Ryanair flight attendants have stripped off their uniforms and are giving customs a little extra ‘in-flight entertainment’, all in the name of charity.

Ryanair claim that the calendar is the ‘sexiest ever’, featuring 13 cabin crew stunners in swimwear and lingerie.

Proceeds from the calendar will go to DEBRA, which provides support for patients suffering from epidermolysis bullosa (EB), a genetic skin condition, and hopes to raise around £85,000.

Ryanair’s Stephen McNamara, head of communications, said: “Ryanair’s gorgeous cabin crew are pleased to once again strip off for charity and this year they have selected DEBRA who help children born with skin so fragile they are affectionately referred to as ‘Butterfly Children’. 

“We hope that the 2012 Charity Calendar will raise up to £85,000 to help DEBRA bring 50 children and their families on a once in a lifetime holiday to Malaga where they are provided with professional care and assistance by the DEBRA team to ensure an unforgettable family holiday.”

The calendar looks to bring the total raised by Ryanair’s cabin crew to £430,000 since the first calendar was published in 2008.

Would you ever strip off for a charity or a good cause? How about to fund your gap year and travelling?

The calendar costs £8.50 and can be purchased on board Ryanair flights, from DEBRA’s charity shops in Ireland and Spain, or on the Ryanair website.

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China Gimp Bike For Freaks

A Chinese man made a bicycle with the front wheel more than five feet high "just for fun".

Zhang Lianjun, of Tangshan, Hebei Province, spent about £1,800 creating the unusual bike.

It also features a huge lamp, a loud horn and four tiny rear wheels.

The original plan was to use a seven feet high tractor wheel but it was to too high and heavy to ride.

So he decided instead to build it with a slightly smaller front wheel which he got from a shovel loader.

"Although the tyres vary greatly in size, it's actually very safe and comfortable to ride," claimed Zhang. Source

I think Jackie Chan will have legs the size of an elephant after he peddles that thing round china for a few weeks. If it's so safe and stable then why does Confucius have to stand there and help hold you up Zhang?

Tim Shadey

Grand Master Gimp

GimpNews.Net

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Carlsberg Bikers Cinema Advertisement

 How tollerant are you to people from all walks of life? I mean these scary crowd of bikers could have been from a more reformed Christian biker group out watching the Wizard Of Oz.

So here's the challenge ... do you think you would have sat down smack bang in the middle of these hard looking dudes? A cinema packed with a 148 bikers and only two seats left? Probably not.

It's a great test of judgement but I think most people would feel fairly uneasy. Even us harshly abused Gimps fear the wrath of a tanked up biker gang looking to get their freak on with some gimp action.

This advertisement is soooooo cool it gets a double high five from Gimp News. AWESOME!

Tim Shadey

Grand Master Gimp

GimpNews.Net

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Music For One Apartment And Six Drummers

Six drummers participate in a well planned musical attack in the suburbs. As an elderly couple leave their apartment the drummers take over. On everyday objects they give a concert in four movements: Kitchen, Bedroom, Bathroom and Living room.

It's a Swedish short film about a group of six crazy percussionists, who invade an apartment and make astounding music with simple household objects.

The film originally premiered at the 2001 Cannes Film Festival and has won over 30 international awards.

I was a bit disappointed that no chainsaws or dildos made the cut into this industrial track of boredom. The crack of a leather whip on a fat woman's ass would also make a nice, crisp snare drum sound. You could also make Madonna erotica themed track, with some bitches moaning while they get double teamed in the background.

Good work though, up there for thinking and down there for dancing as they say in the trade.

Tim Shadey

Grand Master Gimp

GimpNews.Net 

Music For One Apartment And Six Drummers from Mister Magnus on Vimeo.

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How To Escape From Hand Cuffs

Being a Master of Gimpness I find myself locked up in peoples dungeons at all hours of the night, being slapped in the face by dildos while fat wife swappers get their kicks. Now it all looks cool on YouPorn and so forth, but after a while you get sick of the same old Gimp routine and you just need to bust out of a situation and hit the highway. 

Now the video says do not use these techniques to escape law enforcement, that's just some lame attempt on behalf of the youtuber to avoid being harassed by the smokies (cops). Personally I would learn these techniques for two reasons. One, if you get caught up in some hill billy sex game and need to high tail it then you'll need to get out of the cuffs, so pay attention. Two, if you're a powder party boy and you've just been busted blazing fat trails with super models in a club toilet then you're probably going to go to jail, so also pay attention and learn to get the fuck out of dodge.

Enjoy the video's - when in trouble always run & always deny! Gimp Advice 101

Tim Shadey

Grand Master Gimp

GimpNews.Net

Plastic Cuffs

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Amazing Dubstep Dancer Is Back

Dubstep is a genre of electronic dance music that originated in south London, England. Its overall sound has been described as "tightly coiled productions with overwhelming bass lines and reverberant drum patterns, clipped samples, and occasional vocals". ^{Thanks Wankmepedia}

Now we featured Madd Chadd a few days ago and now this nigger turns up getting his freak on like some crazy ass meth head with ants in his pants. Dude this guy has got some fluid moves and he'd pull a crowd even at a funeral. Check Check Check it ..

Tim Shadey
Grand Master Gimp

GimpNews.Net

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Second Tibetan Nun Sets Herself On Fire

Setting yourself on fire is all the rage in Tibet this week. The Xinhua news agency have reported that this is the 11th such incident this year.

These hard core chicks are protesting against religious repression. The nun, Qiu Xiang, set herself alight about 1pm (4pm AEDT) in Dawu county in a Tibetan region of Sichuan province, Xinhua said. 

The Sichuan province of China is well known for it's spicy hot "Shichuan Food" ... I guess they can now add hot nuns to that famous list of credentials. 

I'd personally go on some type of a drinking bender and start dancing on a pole in protest of the repression, bit of a chicken when it comes to dowsing my self in petrol then hitting the go switch.

Tim Shadey

Grand Master Gimp

GimpNews.Net

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